Procrastination - What It Is, and How to Fight It: Practical Tips for Women

You probably know this feeling: you have a to-do list, and everything on it is clear and important. But for some reason, you keep scrolling through your Instagram feed, brewing your third cup of coffee, or cleaning out your closet. Instead of simply starting to do what you really need to do right now.

What Is Procrastination in Simple Words?

Procrastination is putting off important tasks for later. It's not just laziness or simple fatigue. It is active resistance to action. You seem to want to do something, but you can't bring yourself to start.

The worst part is that we don't even rest during this time - on the contrary, we get even more tired because we are literally "overwhelmed" with guilt from within. Anxiety also sets in - because we mentally realize that putting it off only aggravates the unresolved task, gradually turning it into a problem.

Procrastination is like an endless and exhausting internal dialogue: "I should... but I can't... I'm terrible... but I still don't do it...". A vicious circle from which it is difficult but possible to escape.

Why Do We Procrastinate?

The first thing that comes to mind when we hear about procrastination is discipline problems. In fact, in most cases, discipline has nothing to do with it.

Procrastination is a typical reaction to problems with overload, self-esteem and fears. Here are the main psychological causes of female procrastination:

1. Fear of Criticism and Mistakes

If you've been used to hearing things like “A “B” is not a good enough” and “You could have done better” since childhood, the fear of criticism can haunt you into adulthood. You're afraid of doing something wrong and getting the usual criticism.

Sometimes the impact of this fear is so great that it literally paralyzes your actions.

2. Perfectionism

Perfect or nothing. You don't start a project until you're sure everything will be perfect. You don't speak at a conference because you're not sure you've considered all aspects in your report. You don't start a blog because you have a dozen more courses to take.

Procrastination is a frequent companion to perfectionism. While waiting for the perfect moment, you fall into a trap that you set for yourself.

3. Fatigue and Mental Overload

If you're used to taking on too many tasks, your internal resources quickly become depleted. And amidst chronic fatigue, your brain simply blocks action to protect you from excessive workload.

4. Not Your Goals

If you don't fully understand why a particular task is necessary, procrastination will become a habit. Do an audit of your tasks and find a meaningful reason to do what you've been putting off. Or cross out the things that cause you to question them.

5. Concealed Internal Directives

"I'm not worthy." "If I start making a lot of money, I'll get dumped" "It's better to keep my head down." Procrastination can also be caused by hidden inner beliefs that slow you down. If you feel any anxiety when you start thinking about your tasks, try taking a test (available with the trial subscription in the Private Place on this site) to determine the causes of your anxiety. Perhaps by recognizing them, you'll find it easier to pursue your goals.

How Do You Recognize Procrastination?

It is important not to confuse procrastination with the need for rest. Rest restores energy, while procrastination, on the contrary, drains it. Here's how it manifests itself:

• Constantly putting off things, especially important tasks;
• Keeping busy, but doing the wrong things all the time;
• A sudden urge to do something right now - but not from your daily to-do list;
• Feelings of guilt and anxiety due to inaction;
• Self-sabotage and the "I've messed up again" internal dialogue.

Why Are Women Particularly Prone to Procrastination?

Procrastination is typically a female problem. And here's why.

We often live in "I must" mode.

I must be a good mother, wife, employee, friend, daughter... And at the same time always remain beautiful, balanced and successful. Achieving the ideal image in real life is almost impossible - every now and then, yes, some of the spheres fail. And instead of calmly accepting our imperfections, we nurture the feeling of guilt for not conforming to our own or other people's ideas of how things should be. The fear of doing everything wrong again keeps us from taking active steps.

We are more prone than men to self-criticism

Women are more likely to set high standards for themselves and devalue their achievements. Men are more likely to trust facts, while we are more likely to trust our feelings about them. And if it seems to us that we have fallen short somewhere, we will be sure that it is so.

We're not asking for help

The attitude "I’m on my own" has become the norm for many of us. I'll decide on my own, I'll earn money on my own, I'll make my own arrangements... We are reluctant to ask for help, even if we have someone to turn to - in case it is considered a weakness. And then we sit in front of the task, not knowing how to approach it, and fall into procrastination.

How to Fight Procrastination: 12 Working Steps

The Internet is full of recipes for fighting procrastination. However, they are mostly written for men, taking into account their approach to setting and achieving goals. If the "Just get it done!" methods don't work for you either, it's time to try something else. Here are strategies that can be really effective.

1. Stop fighting - start listening to yourself

Coping with procrastination means not forcing yourself, but to learn to act gently, regularly, without pressure. To begin with, stop looking at procrastination as an enemy that you need to get rid of immediately. It's just a signal and a hint. Ask yourself: what am I afraid of? What am I lacking right now to act on? What is too much for me right now? Where can I make my task easier?

It is useful to do this exercise with a notebook and pen - written practice always has a greater effect than mere reflection. Move question by question and give yourself time to reflect. You can find your own answers that will help you get your affairs and your life in order.

2. Don't wait for inspiration - start with 5 minutes

You've probably heard of something called Flow - an inspired state in which something is easily created and accomplished. It is commonly believed that all successful people know how to "catch the wave" - in fact, they create it themselves.

Inspiration is not something to be passively awaited. Inspiration comes when you start moving. And that's where the hardest part is the start. Set a timer for 5 minutes and tell yourself, "I'm just going to start." Don't visualize your long and hard work, or your brain will start looking for tricks and you'll go back to doing the dishes instead of sitting down to an important presentation. With just five minutes, you can catch the flow that will turn your work into an exciting adventure.

3. The power of microaction

Break down a big task into microtasks. Sometimes the easiest way to overcome self-sabotage is to convince yourself that the task is not that difficult. Break it down into individual steps and proceed step by step. For example, "write an expert social media post" means to “first open Instagram, then find examples, next write out 5 possible post topics, and finally draft your post”.

4. Create a ritual to get you started

If working on tasks is associated with discomfort, you will have to overcome resistance every time. Make a ritual to get you started that will help you get into the right state of mind. It can be a cup of tea, your favorite music in the background, a specific work outfit, or a preferred perfume.

5. Clean up your surroundings

The environment affects productivity - it's a proven fact. Clear out the clutter on your desk, put all the unnecessary items away, and leave only what you might need. That way, you'll help yourself remain focused longer.

6. Feel the result

In your mind, visualize yourself at the finish line of your work. How do you feel when the task is done? Relief? Joy? Pride? Fully embrace the feeling - it will help you to engage in the process.

7. Performed is better than perfect

Give yourself permission to do "as well as you can." Don't demand the impossible from yourself. The main thing is to move. You can improve later - when there’s something to improve. 

8. Prioritize

Always choose the most important task of the day and start your day by accomplishing it. Even if everything else falls through, you're still in a positive position.

9. Summarize the day

Develop the habit of recording your progress. At the end of the day, note what you have accomplished. Even if it's only a fraction of the plan, it's much more than zero.

10. Work with the directives

Track negative thoughts like "I'm not good enough", "I won't be given the opportunity", "this isn't for me" and replace them with new ones like "I'm learning," "I can try," "I'm moving forward." Focus on opportunities, not limitations.

And already stop doing those 20 things to yourself😉

11. Find support

Surround yourself with support - connect more with a friend who truly believes in you, find a community of like-minded people or a coach. But try to stay away from those who are used to whining and criticizing others.

12. Get more rest

Truly - with a switch to something interesting, enjoyable, and restorative. Learn to disconnect from everything without guilt. Rest is an important contribution to your well-being, especially for us.

In lieu of an afterword

Procrastination is not a character flaw. It's a defense mechanism your brain uses to protect you from overload, anxiety, and internal conflict. So the first thing you need to do is to become more aware and start an honest dialogue with yourself.

Only then will you regain the energy to act by starting to move in the right direction.

Listen to yourself, take care of yourself, and remember: you can be effective and successful without fuss, rigid limitations, or forcing yourself. Choose your pace and move toward your goals gently, confidently, and steadily.